Saturday, 23 April 2011

Radio 'Jock-isms'

The Jockisms Collection - from radio disc jockeys

Do you sound 'real' or 'real radio'? Do you speak 'radio"' or "personal"?
Think about what you say and how it sounds to your listener!
This stuff here is sooooooo corny - avoid saying this stuff on-air, because it makes you sound totally lame!

"Avoid clich├ęs like the plague!"

"[Jock Name] along with you"

"[Jock Name] keeping you company" (because we think you need it, you sad person, you!)

"[Jock Name] on your radio"

"[Jock Name] with you during the month of Zeptember"

"___ degrees on the outside" ("... and 98.6 on the inside!")

"... and a half" (usually no need to be this exact with time)

"... and before that we heard from…"

"... and before that…" (people have been listening to radio long enough to know that when you are back announcing songs, the song title you say next was 'before that!')

"... and, if you're listening in the car, thanks for the ride!"

"... and, just a reminder"

"... as we travel along in song together"

"... as we travel back to [year]..." (don't make me feel old!)

"... coming at ya" (it sounds like a physical threat)

"... here in the air-chair with you"

"... here on your ___day…" (who else's is it?)

"... playing 10/15/20 in a row" (by the way, are you any good at sales?)

"... phone to own..."

"... right around the corner" (how many times have you heard a jock say that a particular holiday, concert or other event is "right around the corner"? Where's the damned corner?)

"... sitting on [temp or time]"

"... wishing you a pleasant good night... and good morning!" (back when stations signed off at Midnight)

"17 minutes before the hour" (most cultures use digital watches nowadays… tell 'em 8:43)

"All roads lead to [where we're broadcasting live]"

"And the year was 1974/taking you back to 1974"

"Another long block of non stop rock"

"At the Radio Ranch..."

"Blue skies and green lights to ya"

"Broadcasting 'live' from…"

"Come on in and see the fine folks"

"Cranking it up in JAMuary"

"Cruise on by and check it out..."

"Currently it's 58 degrees outside" (never use CURRENTLY!)

"Did you know..." or "Didja know..." (I guess I didn't, until you told me. Thanks for making me feel like an idiot)

"Don't touch that dial!"

"Dudes" (please, let's leave this phrase in the Seventies, where it belongs. See also: "Man")

"Everything we could get our grubby little hands on" (I had a PD in Texas who said this in every remote break)

"Exactly" (See also: "Of course")

"Feel-good Friday"

"Glad to have you along…" (beats the heck outta going alone)

"Good morning!" (too many jocks use it to hit the post, but do they MEAN it? I bet listeners could tell)

"Here in the Metro..." (whee doggies, Mabel, let's load up the young'uns and head into the metro!)

"Here's what happening in our community…" (just tell them!)

"Hi, it's Johnny Jock checking in with you…" (what the hell's he checking? His oil?)

"Hiways and biways"

"Hope your day's going well so far"

"I gotta tell you" or "Let me tell you" (Maybe, I don't want to hear it)

"I wanna say 'hi' to ___ for checkin' in" (what's with all this "checkin' in?" Are we conducting bed-checks or something?)

"I'm ___ with you 'til _[time]_…" (just because you're done at this time doesn't mean the listener is)

"I'm tellin' you" and "I'll tell you what" (just tell me. Don't tell me that you're going to tell me first)

"It's [time] here on 93X" (and everywhere else in the Alaskan Standard Time Zone)

"It's 8:51, Nine minutes 'til eight, thirty-nine minutes 'til 9:30, if you gotta be there at 10, you have an hour and 9 minutes…" (and other timechecks that lack brevity)

"It's currently 3:08 right now"

"It's presently (time/temp/both)" ("presently" actually means "soon" ("presently" means "soon" to some, "now" to others? Ed))

"It's the summer of '98" ((or whatever year this decade happened to match your frequency) for those of you too stoned to keep track of these things)

"Jamming you in Rocktober"

"Just ahead of [artists and or music sweep name here]" (like the damn thing is threatening to overtake us or something!)

"Kxxx News Time is..." (what's the time in Guam?)

"Kxxx, where the winning is easy" (if you've entered our number in the speed dial and started dialing the instant I started talking)

"Let's get back to more music…" (thank the God in heaven!)

"Let's go to the phones…" (won't the crappy sound of the call alone tell them this?)

"Let's keep the music rolling…" (really bad when used EVERY single time you hit the ramp)

"Let's take a look at..." (ain't it putry on your radio?)

"Live and in living color on the radio" (I had a PD in Texas who said this in every remote break)

"Lock it in to [station name]"

"More fun than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" (and similar cliches)

"Music Sweeps" and "Sets" (real people think sweeping is done with a broom. Musician "Dudes" play "Tunage" in "Sets". We don't)

"News and weather together"

"No repeat Thursday" (except our positioner, which you'll hear 20 times in this stop set)

"Of course" (this is a crutch that I hear jocks use in many fashions... and have never heard a PD break bad on someone for using it) (See also: "Exactly" Ed)

"On your Friday"

"Oops... no cans on..." [squeal]"... whoa!"

"Stop ON by..." and "Stop ON in..." (leave the word "On" out)

"Sporting Saturday"

"Stick around" (used usually when going into a break; also see "Hang Around")

"T.G.I.F." (certainly better than S.H.I.T. - Sorry Honey It's Thursday. Ed)

"That's one of my favorite songs"

"The current temperature right now…" (from the Dept. of Redundancy Department)

"The time is…" (when you say just "7-52", what do you think people think you're trying to say?)

"The wet stuff" (it's rain, okay? Snow is not the White Stuff, either. Nobody ever says, "It's the Wet Stuff outside. Looks like it might change to the White Stuff. I'd better get my boots." Except maybe jocks)

"They've got lots of stuff and things on sale here"

"This one's going out for [name]... hope you've got your ears on!"

"Thunderbumpers" (I saw on the Weather Channel that thunder isn't really caused by the clouds bumping together, no matter what Momma told you when you were a kid)

"Today's hot new country favorites" (if it's new, can it truly be a favorite yet?)

"Tunage" (this is what "Dudes" call music, "Man". But not real people)

"twenty/four/seven" (okay, maybe this goes beyond the jock realm, but I hate it anyway!)

"Until 10, I'm Ron Radio" (who are you after 10?)

"Up next..." (batting clean-up...)

"Welcome to a Wednesday" (oh, you got there first?)

"We'll be right back…" (where are you going?)

"We'll take more calls on the other side" (used when heading into a stopset. The other side of what?)

"We're having a great time, here"

"What station just made you a winner?" (and why am I such a loser?)

"What's up with that?" (I was hooked on that one for a bit)


"Whoa... that little old lady can sure belt 'em out!"

"Winning Wednesday"

"You just won yourself ___" (you can't win "yourself")

Any mention of a "desk" as in "newsdesk," "weatherdesk," "trafficdesk." I have never seen such a desk in any furniture store.

Any reference to "hump day".

How about: "join Johnny Jock and myself" for the remote, the sports broadcast, the whatever. "Join Johnny Jock and me" is grammatically correct, but it amazes me how many people seem afraid to use it.

I always hate run-on forecasts: "Cloudy tonight, low of 60. Tomorrow, sunny, high near 70. Tomorrow night, partly cloudy and 62. In the extended forecast... " Unless it's Thursday and you briefly plug the weekend forecast, shut up! I certainly don't care what the weather's gonna be on Monday when I'm headed home Friday afternoon! I always gave the current and next daypart forecast - left the rest to the Weather Channel!

Local idiosyncracy from long-time Iowa Hawkeye PBP man Jim Zabel on WHO, Des Moines: If the Hawks were in a 'do or die' situation, Z would tell the fans, "Start hugging and kissing those radios, folks!"

One of my pet peeves when I worked in radio, back in the days when call letters were more in vogue than cutesy mnemonics (out of radio since '91), was when jocks would follow the call letters with the word "RADIO". Idiots! It's obviously radio!

True, you shouldn't say "currently" or "right now" or "outside," but what about not saying "degrees" or "high" or "low"? Wouldn't everyone know what you meant if you said, "Clear tonight, 38... a few clouds tomorrow and 59... it's sunny and 53 at blah blah blah..."?


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